Breaking Up with Joe

Dear Joe,
I miss you.
Love, Jess

My love affair with coffee has spanned 18 years, 5 countries, countless cities, graduate studies, career changes and in some sense my transition from youth to adult.  I’ve sipped espresso standing at a crowded counter in an Italian café, boiled water over burning sticks to pour through a plastic funnel in a remote Panamanian village and pulled my French Press from moving box upon moving box in the act of making a new apartment feel like home.

Coffee drinking for me started back in the days of my undergraduate degree when the demand of full time school, a job and an internship started to warrant an extra shot of energy here and there.   I blame you, Melanie Wellman Irish, for first introducing me to Mochas at the Cafeteria Espresso stand.  However, growing up in Seattle it’s not like I stood a chance as is; while coffee has been a favored beverage for generations nothing has spurred its global influence like a small cafe in Pike Place Market began to more than 50 years ago.

I love coffee.  The taste.  The smell. The feel of the cup in my hands.  I love the ritual of it all the way from buying my beans to watching the first drips come through the machine.  I cherish memories of my grandmother enjoying a hot cup of coffee with a soft serve vanilla cone at McDonalds.  Long trips up the coast with Huxley by my side and a  toasty to go cup from Big Sur bakery in the console.  Not to mention hundreds of times sitting down with friends to share news and laughter over a cup.  Honestly, sometimes it’s what gets me up in the morning and makes the day seem just fine.

So, if you have a great relationship where you’re still in love after so many years together why end things?  Here’s the deal: I agreed to both lead and do this 21 Day Detox with my friends and it’s one that I’ll be taking many clients through as well. As with most detox programs you are encouraged to quit anything that stimulates or depresses the natural functions of your system (alcohol, drugs, caffeine, etc).  Beyond that, much of the reading I’ve done lately points to coffee, and caffeine in general, as really not being that great for us.  Sure, it has antioxidant value and studies have shown that it decreases depression in women, however, there’s a whole other host of studies that cite its detrimental effect on our adrenal glands, nervous system and sleep patterns.  Some of the articles and books I’ve read as of late denote coffee (all caffeinated beverages in fact) as pretty much being a direct IV to the Devil.  It is after all the second most addictive substance of choice after sugar.

BUT I LOVE COFFEE.  So what’s an addict/holistic guru armed with information she really wishes she didn’t know supposed to do?  Well, for the duration of the cleanse at least I need to quit.  I feel as though I’d be a hypocrite asking clients/fellow cleansers to do it if I don’t myself.

I’ll be totally honest in that I’ve tried to quit coffee multiple times and it’s simply never lasted, but try I must.  Last week I went from two cups a day (regular in AM, decaf in afternoon) down to one cup.  Then one weak cup.  The just a half cup.  This week I replaced it completely Green Tea and I’m not pleased.  In a couple of days I’ll go to no caffeine whatsoever.  How do I feel?  Blah.  Not quite like myself and a bit less mentally stimulated.  I have yet to see my sleep improve or my natural energy levels shift that much, although I will say that yesterday I didn’t get that feeling of “I’m geriatric at age 36 and I want to take a nap” around 2pm.  All that said, I will confess that I feel calmer to a degree and as though I’m not engaging in that cycle of overly revving my body up and then crashing later.

Will my 16 oz of toxic blissfulness and I ever be reunited to once again share our mornings in the soft California light?  Possibly.  I’d like to say I’ll never go back to something that I know isn’t really the best thing for me in the world, but it’s like that lover you just can’t shake loose from your dreams, waking or otherwise (and honestly, coffee, even if slightly toxic, is better option than any of them).  I don’t know – if I keep out wheat, sugar and alcohol (which I mostly do anyhow) is it ok to have my one vice? I will certainly honor the cleanse and give my body a chance to rest, heal and rejuvenate.  And then?  Follow along and find out.  Maybe I’ll be able to ignore his calls, but my do I love that Joe…..